Can you hear it in the distance
Can you sense it far away
Is it old Rudolph the reindeer
Is it Santa on his sleigh
It’s heading up to Easington
It’s coming down the Tyne
Oh it’s bloddy Maggie Thatcher
And Michael Heseltine

[Chorus:]
So merry Christmas Maggie Thatcher
May God’s love be with you
We all sing together in one breath
Merry Christmas Maggie Thatcher
We all celebrate today
‘Cause it’s one day closer to your death

They’ve come to raid your stockings
And to steal your Christmas pud
But don’t be too downhearted
It’s all for your own good
The economic infrastructure
Must be swept away
To make way for call centres
And lower rates of pay

[Chorus]

And they’ve brought their fascist boot boys
And they’ve brought the boys in blue
And the whole Trade Union Congress
Will be at the party too
And they’ll all hold hands together
All standing in a line
‘Cause they’re privatising Santa
This merry Christmas time

[Chorus 2x]

Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Heseltine
You’re a tosser, you’re a tosser
And you’re just a Tory Swine

Welcome to my Christmas song
I’d like to thank you for the year
So I’m sending you this Christmas card
To say it’s nice to have you here
I’d like to sing about all the things
Your eyes and mind can see
So hop aboard the turntable
Oh step into Christmas with me

Step into Christmas
Let’s join together
We can watch the snow fall forever and ever
Eat, drink and be merry
Come along with me
Step into Christmas
The admission’s free

Take care in all you do next year
And keep smiling through the days
If we can help to entertain you
Oh we will find the ways
So merry Christmas one and all
There’s no place I’d rather be
Than asking you if you’d oblige
Stepping into Christmas with me